Don't Ever Try To Upstage A Michael Jackson Performer Or Else You'll Break Your Neck In 50 Pieces

Here I thought the biggest fail here would be to allow a MJ impersonator dance around small children. Nope. Turns out, Annie is not OK, after all. That medical response of dragging him away by his head that probably was no longer attached to the spine probably didn’t help him out, either. But you kind of deserve to shatter your shit if you try to one up any street performer. Leave it to the professionals. And by professionals I mean a man who didn’t miss a move after witnessing a neck break in front of his face. That’s what we call showmanship.

However, kind of student of MJ doesn’t Moonwalk? Total violation. You go to Idaho, you get a potato. You watch a poor man’s Michael Jackson, you expect to see an attempted half-assed version of the Moonwalk. It’s not that hard. All you need is a little practice and coordination of a normal able bodied human (Spoiler Alert: I can not master the Moonwalk because when I attempt to move backwards I resemble Flynn White being rewound):

However, if you can perfect the Moonwalk, with great power comes great responsibility. This dance is only reserved to whip out during weddings ONCE or spontaneous dance offs when challenged. If you’re that person who goes around saying they can moonwalk it’s like being that guy who out of nowhere says how much he can bench. Nobody gives a fuck unless it’s spontaneous and nobody thinks you have it in you.